Finding time —it’s no easy feat. Even if the hours in a day were doubled, there would still be stones left unturned. There would still be dishes undone, chapters unread, work to be addressed, and words left unspoken. Or, in my case, unwritten.
Oh, how pressing that is on my soul…
Reintroducing school work into my schedule has proven to be a detour from my route to self expression. Putting my thoughts to paper has once again taken a back seat to my business oriented predisposition. Begrudgingly, I acknowledged that I was in the home stretch of my accounting degree and that that, above all, should take precedence.
Trust me, it was a hard sell.
Mind you, I am not a woman who shies away from a hard work but the monotony of a nine-to-five, combined with motherhood, homemaker, and college student extraordinaire can leave even the most devout overachiever pressed a bit thin.
Thin on time, thin on patience, and perhaps a bit thin on sanity, to boot. And I’m not even saying I had a whole lot of that to go around in the first place.
However, I stand by the fact that people find time to accomplish what is of most importance to them and they prioritize accordingly.
Don’t bother fooling yourself into believing that the reason you didn’t hit the gym for the fifth year in a row was because you didn’t have time. Inaccurate. You’re not fooling anyone else, so, why bother deluding yourself? Don’t excuse that relationship that’s fallen to the wayside as a matter of circumstances beyond control. You didn’t have time, right? Wrong.
Certain activities, people, and tasks simply rank lower into the engrained hierarchy of what a person is willing to accomplish with the hours they are given. But it’s a choice. Any way that we choose to spin it, dress it up, adorn it with a bow —whatever it takes to make us feel better— it is a choice .
A (expletive) choice.
That said, I chose both. (Or was that ‘all’?)
My academic work is an important part of my journey. I will not shortchange the impact pursuing a degree has had on developing me as a person. Not solely in expanding my knowledge database but, rather, allowing me to know myself and what I am capable of accomplishing.
Yet, solving figures only answers to the part of me that beckons for order. It allows my meticulous nature to take hold and create a pattern that never strays from inside the corners. There is one right answer and it is executed with precision, and packaged neatly in its perfectly shaped box.
But I need chaos. I need passion. I need the breath of fresh air that fills my lungs when I put my pencil to paper or use my craftsmanship to will art into existence.
I need both of these elements. Together, they work to help fine tune and pave my path.
And, it is with my overabundance of ambition and a dash of greed in tow, that I will embark on my never ending quest to overthrow Wonder Woman and reign supreme.
Wish me luck.