Finding Time

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Finding time —it’s no easy feat. Even if the hours in a day were doubled, there would still be stones left unturned. There would still be dishes undone, chapters unread, work to be addressed, and words left unspoken. Or, in my case, unwritten.

Oh, how pressing that is on my soul

Reintroducing school work into my schedule has proven to be a detour from my route to self expression. Putting my thoughts to paper has once again taken a back seat to my business oriented predisposition. Begrudgingly, I acknowledged that I was in the home stretch of my accounting degree and that that, above all, should take precedence.

Trust me, it was a hard sell.

Mind you, I am not a woman who shies away from a hard work but the monotony of a nine-to-five, combined with motherhood, homemaker, and college student extraordinaire can leave even the most devout overachiever pressed a bit thin.

Thin on time, thin on patience, and perhaps a bit thin on sanity, to boot. And I’m not even saying I had a whole lot of that to go around in the first place.

However, I stand by the fact that people find time to accomplish what is of most importance to them and they prioritize accordingly.

Don’t bother fooling yourself into believing that the reason you didn’t hit the gym for the fifth year in a row was because you didn’t have time. Inaccurate. You’re not fooling anyone else, so, why bother deluding yourself? Don’t excuse that relationship that’s fallen to the wayside as a matter of circumstances beyond control. You didn’t have time, right? Wrong.

Certain activities, people, and tasks simply rank lower into the engrained hierarchy of what a person is willing to accomplish with the hours they are given. But it’s a choice. Any way that we choose to spin it, dress it up, adorn it with a bow —whatever it takes to make us feel better— it is a choice .

A (expletive) choice.

That said, I chose both. (Or was that ‘all’?)

My academic work is an important part of my journey. I will not shortchange the impact pursuing a degree has had on developing me as a person. Not solely in expanding my knowledge database but, rather, allowing me to know myself and what I am capable of accomplishing.

Yet, solving figures only answers to the part of me that beckons for order. It allows my meticulous nature to take hold and create a pattern that never strays from inside the corners. There is one right answer and it is executed with precision, and packaged neatly in its perfectly shaped box.

But I need chaos. I need passion. I need the breath of fresh air that fills my lungs when I put my pencil to paper or use my craftsmanship to will art into existence.

I need both of these elements. Together, they work to help fine tune and pave my path.

And, it is with my overabundance of ambition and a dash of greed in tow, that I will embark on my never ending quest to overthrow Wonder Woman and reign supreme.

Wish me luck.

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6 Comments

Filed under Opinion

6 responses to “Finding Time

  1. I enjoyed this post and wish you’d write more here and write more in whatever form it takes! You articulate well. I’m somewhat in awe of people who can successfully juggle school, parenthood, jobs and whatever else life throws their way. So I wish you the luck you requested! 🙂

    • Thank you for the support! I try to cram writing into every ounce of free time I manage to accumulate.
      It’s been a good change of pace. Plus, I find that I do my best writing on sleepless nights, when I am bordering delusion, anyway.

  2. I read your essay TWICE and your premise is correct. We DO make time to do the activities and people that are REALLY important to us. Once we acknowledge this fact, day-to-day life just becomes simpler.

    In dealing with a relationship, it may be difficult at first to accept that said relationship has changed because feelings will be hurt. But, in the long run, both parties will learn because honesty nutrues spiritual and emotional growth.

    The most important thing is to know where you stand with the people in your life at all times. It is not always easy, but it is for the best. Thank you for sharing this!

    • Letting go of relationships, friendships or otherwise, is a challenge part of the process but a crucial one. The growth experienced from allowing a connection that is no longer purposeful to absolve is substantial. There’s no use in hanging onto a person or (insert gravitational force here) weighing you down!

  3. I LOVE this post. I read it a few days ago, but just haven’t had a chance to comment yet. A few days before reading it, I had a conversation with my sister about how I feel like I only have enough time to fully keep up with one other person other than my husband and kids. Of course its not actually “having the time” to keep up with people, its choosing how much of my time with my children or my husband (or me-time) that I want to sacrifice. I figure that when the children get older (which is not that much longer), they are going to choose to spend their time with friends and doing school activities rather than spending time with their parents. Maybe then, we won’t consider it sacrificing time since they have already made that choice.

    Also, GOOD LUCK!! 🙂

    • I wish I was a little more reclusive. I feel like my social connections drain me more often than not. I have started to question the benefit of giving so much of myself to people, and as I see it fit, I am adjusting accordingly.

      That day of complete independence is approaching! And maybe you will branch out afterwards but maybe you will stay inwards with your family. 😊

      Both are great options.

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