With the year coming to a close, I thought I might take the time to make my final post of 2015 —a final tribute to the year— one full of both triumph and the sting of defeat.
The year started with cutting the strings of a fraying relationship and ended with receiving my Associates of Science, with plenty of ebbs & flows in between. While this year has come with many pivotal moments, I won’t be sad to see it go. I will be seizing the opportunity to view the new year as a chance for a new beginning and, without being an advocate for resolutions, a year that will also bring new goals. Rightfully so.
I have chosen to start this new year by taking an academic hiatus to focus on my art. I know that makes me appear as if I am fresh out of grade school, hellbent on figuring out who I am. And despite being far from grade school, that could very well be precisely what it is. It’s not a possibility I am ashamed of.
I choose to embrace my continuous evolution and never knowing who I may give way to. I may not be the same person next year, or even next month, as I was before. And, perhaps without realization, that’s the same truth for most.
Except for you, person of pattern, whose life is a series of perpetual repeats. You’re excluded.
Personally, I will always aspire to change. I take pride in being a multifaceted individual and following the opportunities that allow me to experience growth. Even those opportunities that only prevail subsequent to hard choices. I live with little fear of shaking up the norm, and find my most prominent growth comes outside of the confines of my comfort zone.
And notably within my comfort zone resides longstanding friendships and realizing the need for evolution in such.
An uncomfortable truth, as a self proclaimed bleeding heart, is discovering that I cannot help every individual —despite diligent effort. And this rings particularly true when the person has little desire to help themselves. When a person chooses to be consumed and enchanted by their problems, they both cultivate and exacerbate them. This process becomes all consuming, negating the good in favor for the bad, until all that is left is theatrics and a bad taste in their mouths.
Another relationship related truth is recognizing that my kindness and attentive nature will not necessarily be met with equality. It’s knowing that I must reign in the efforts as to not push myself to the point of exhaustion for persons who are unable or unwilling to reciprocate.
And with this, I see the upcoming year as a year for downsizing, embracing minimalism, and feeding my art, starting with my social circle and working its way outward —or inward— depending on necessity.
Bon voyage, 2015! I won’t miss you.